It's a beautiful thing

"If you restrict your love to those like you, those you understand, those who make you feel comfortable, you will be pretty bored. If you dare to open your life to one person who needs a friend, you just might find yourself in an adventure of eternal proportions."
Christi Avant Watson from If God Were Real

Christi is a former student of mine. It has been great to follow her career and writing from a distance. It has inspired and encouraged me. It’s a very cool thing when the student becomes the teacher!

When I read this in If God Were Real (which I highly recommend), I can’t help but think of my wife, Judy. For those of you who don’t know, Judy, Kris, and I moved into a very needy neighborhood several years ago in hopes of making a difference. There are lots of drugs, alcohol, abuse, and kids with no direction and no role models. One of the first people we met was Marie. As far as I can tell, Marie and Judy have two things in common: they are both women and they both grew up poor. After that, they could not be any different. Judy is white, Marie is African American. Judy grew up in a strict Christian home; Marie had her first child before she graduated from high school. Judy went off to Bible College after high school; Marie went off to Atlanta to be a dancer (among other things). Marie is addicted to alcohol; Judy is just addicted to me! Marie spent last summer in jail and as far as I know Judy has never been in jail though last summer she did visit Marie. Marie walks with a limp and always has a few bruises because she has been in an abusive relationship for years. In fact, one night Marie was lying in the middle of the road. We almost hit her because she looked like a bag of trash!

Yet as different as they are, Judy and Marie have become friends. Not the “I think I’ll take Marie on as my project” friends; they have become real friends. In many ways, it would have been better for Judy if Marie was one of those “project’ friends. It’s kind of like doing service projects. You find a need, spend a day or two meeting that need and leave feeling good about yourself and what you have accomplished. Now I’m all for service projects, it’s just way different when you don’t go home. Marie is very needy and a lot of the friendship goes in one direction. I will say this about Marie, usually after she cusses Judy out for something that’s not her fault, she usually apologizes.

With Marie, progress is measured in inches and disappointment is measured in miles. Many nights, we sit and wonder if we have accomplished anything; of course Judy has set her goal pretty high, she just wants to save the whole neighborhood. While it has been frustrating for Judy, here’s what I know. Judy is probably the only true fried Marie has and quite possibly the only person that really loves Marie and in those rare moments of clarity when the anger of her life choices subsides, Marie knows this and it is truly a beautiful thing.

So, do you want to “find yourself in an adventure of eternal proportions?” It’s simple, “dare to open your life to one person who needs a friend.” Not only with the Marie’s of this world be better off, you will too.